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Speaking up for yourself may be one of the most intimidating things for you to do, especially if you are a lifelong people pleaser. You may be used to keeping the peace, avoiding confrontation at all costs and allowing others to have their opinion while keeping yours hidden. This will only cause you frustration in the long run, however, because you aren’t being honest with yourself or anyone else about how you really feel. The good news is, speaking up for yourself and allowing your voice and opinions to be heard doesn’t have to be difficult or scary. Here are some easy to implement life hacks to help build up your confidence and give you the courage to speak your mind in no time.
1. Prep Yourself: When you’re not used to speaking up, being prepped and completely sure of what you want to say ahead of time is key to your success. Try writing down all of your thoughts and practice what and how you’re going to say them. Really visualize who you are speaking to. If it helps, try standing in front of a mirror where you can check out your body language, facial expression as you speak, hand gestures, etc. When that moment of truth arrives, you’ll be fully prepared to speak your mind with confidence and certainty.
2. Positive Self-talk: Building the confidence to speak your mind starts from within.
Get in the habit of being fully aware how you speak to yourself throughout the day. Is it mostly negative chatter in your head? Do you criticize and berate yourself for every little mistake? If you find that most of the things you say to yourself are negative, make every effort to flip the switch to positivity and self-love. You may not be able to completely shut off those thoughts right at first, but by simply being aware you can start yourself off on a more confident path that will have you freely sharing your opinions and ideas with anyone who will listen.
3. Identify Your Insecurities: One of the best things you can do to get over your fear of speaking up is to figure out why you’re afraid in the first place. Dig deep and ask yourself the hard questions like, “What am I ashamed of or embarrassed by? Why am I so fearful of letting others know how I feel?” Make a list of all your insecurities and worst-case scenarios. By doing this, you are bringing to light all the things that are holding you back. This won’t make all your insecurities disappear immediately, but it will give you a starting point to begin pushing past them.
4. Take Responsibility: A great way to boost your confidence is to remind yourself what you want and need, and then take responsibility for that. As people pleaser’s we often let others have the spotlight and neglect the things that make us truly happy. Stop doing that. It’s going to be so much easier to speak up in confidence when you believe your wants and needs are just as important as everyone else’s. The benefit of letting others know what’s on your mind will far outweigh the discomfort of standing center stage for once.
Speaking your mind doesn’t have to be an overwhelming, stressful task. These are just a few suggestions that will have you accepting standing up and speaking out without a second thought.